How to Build Self-Esteem (And Does It Even Matter?)

Author Bobby van Houten

Posted Mar 20, 2023

Reads 3.3K

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Self-esteem has been a buzzword for decades, and for good reason. In the heady times of post-war prosperity, life began to look brighter for many people who had worked hard to achieve success. The widespread sense of social solidarity was palpable, and it was around this time that psychologists started studying what would become known as the holy grail of psychological constructs: self-esteem.

Despite being coined by a pretty rad dude in the 1960s, high self-esteem quickly became associated with a metaphorical never-ending car crash of smoking cat turds in the world of psychology. Psychologists measured it, professional athletes swore by it, and everyone seemed convinced that if you had high self-esteem, you were guaranteed to live happily ever after. But then the curtain fell on this party. Early conclusions suggested that successful people didn't necessarily have high self-esteem and that high self-esteem didn't cause success. So does having high self-esteem even matter?

The Vital Distinction: Healthy and Harmful Self-Esteem

Self-esteem existing in two broad categories: healthy and toxic. Healthy self-esteem is directly controllable by your own work ethic, making you feel good about being a competent person who can eventually earn the external metric of success. On the other hand, toxic self-esteem is derived from delusional sense of feeling good by external uncontrollable things. You’ll feel good as long as you have them, but the slightest indication that they’re slipping away can cause you to crash.

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Toxic forms of self-esteem arise when people pursue self-esteem for its own sake rather than as a result of doing something productive or becoming a competent well-adjusted human being. If your focus is on how to look good rather than be good, you set yourself up for setbacks thorny challenges inevitably bring. In the world taking risks, high self-esteem isn’t just about feeling good; it’s also about handling feel bad moments gracefully without letting them turn into personal attacks or staying stuck in an immature worldview.

I knew Jimmy, a serial wannabe entrepreneur who always tricked people into thinking he knew important people and supposedly had amazing business ideas. He would use credit cards to take clients out to fancy restaurants in order to appear successful. Contrary to what we all thought about him, Jimmy had high toxic self-esteem derived from his delusional sense of being a modern badass entrepreneur who cashed checks and lived lavish lifestyles like the wework guy. There was a huge disconnect between the person he saw himself and how the world saw him. In reality, he was one of the biggest creeps you’ve ever met - taking credit for other peoples’ work or even stealing their ideas. His high toxic self-esteem was incredibly fragile because it was consistently fed with lies, which led me to dismiss his uncontrollable externality as something normal in today's cultural ideal of success-seeking entrepreneurship.

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Last week 95 people had breakthroughs, and this week it could be you! By signing up to our newsletter, you will receive unexpected emails that are sure to boost your confidence and help you on your journey towards greater self-esteem. So why wait? Join the millions of people who have already made positive changes in their lives by entering your email address into our Breakthrough Newsletter today!

Influences on Our Self-Worth: What Affects Self-Esteem?

Our self-esteem is shaped by a variety of factors. One important factor that can influence our self-esteem is our physical abilities. How we perceive and feel about our physical appearance can have a significant impact on how we value ourselves.

Socioeconomic status can also play a role in shaping our self-esteem. Negative experiences, such as financial difficulties, can lead to low self-esteem, while positive experiences, such as success and accomplishment, can contribute to healthy self-esteem. Additionally, thought patterns and negative assessments from others can further impact our sense of worth.

Carl Rogers referred to the concept of unconditional positive regard as an essential ingredient for the development of healthy self-esteem. This means providing ourselves with acceptance and love regardless of our flaws or weaknesses. While genetic factors may also play a role in shaping our sense of worth, it's important to recognize that life experiences and how we choose to view them has a significant impact on the development of our self-esteem.

The Significance of Self-Esteem and Its Impact on Your Life

Self-esteem impacts many aspects of our lives, from how we view ourselves to the decisions we make. It influences motivation and our emotional health, making it an essential part of living a happy life. Having a healthy positive view of yourself is one of the key characteristics of someone with healthy self-esteem. When you feel inspired and confident in your abilities, you are more likely to take risks and push yourself to achieve your personal expectations.

Low self-esteem tends to have the opposite effect on our decision-making process. People with low self-esteem experience low levels of motivation and often feel unlovable or unworthy, which can lead to relationship issues. They may struggle to maintain healthy relationships because they don't believe they deserve love or respect from others.

On the other hand, overly high self-esteem can also be detrimental. People with overly high self-esteem tend to feel entitled and may become arrogant or narcissistic, which can cause problems in their personal and professional relationships. The key is finding a firm understanding of your worth without going too far in either direction. By doing so, you can maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and those around you.

1. Click Play to Learn More About Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the way we see ourselves and the value we place on our worth. It can affect our relationships, work performance, and overall well-being. According to a medically reviewed article by Rachel Goldman PhD FTOS, self-esteem can be influenced by various factors such as childhood experiences, social interactions, and personal achievements.

In the video provided, you will learn more about how self-esteem is developed and how it can impact different aspects of your life. Whether you are struggling with low self-esteem or simply want to improve your confidence level, this resource can provide valuable insights and tips to help you build a healthy sense of self-worth. So go ahead and click play to start your journey towards a better understanding of yourself!

Discover More about Health and Patient Care Information

When it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle, self-esteem plays a crucial role. Low self-esteem can lead to poor decision making regarding diet, exercise, and overall health. The Mayo Clinic offers an extensive library of resources for adult health, including diseases conditions A-Z, symptoms A-Z, tests procedures A-Z, and drugs supplements A-Z.

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In addition to medical information, the Mayo Clinic also provides resources for building self-esteem and improving overall mental health. Their Healthy Living Program offers comprehensive wellness coaching and counseling services. You can also sign up for the Mayo Clinic Health Letter or download one of their many voice apps designed to help you manage your mental health.

In conclusion, self-esteem is an integral part of maintaining overall health and wellness. By utilizing the vast array of resources available through the Mayo Clinic, you can gain valuable insight into diseases conditions A-Z, symptoms A-Z, tests procedures A-Z, drugs supplements A-Z as well as tips for improving your self-worth. With the Mayo Clinic's support, you can take control of your mental wellbeing and live a healthier life.

Boost Your Confidence: Ways to Enhance your Self-Esteem

Building self-esteem is essential for maintaining healthy mental health. Low self-esteem can lead to mental health disorders, including anxiety. Address problems that are causing low self-esteem and challenge negative thinking patterns by learning how to identify distorted thoughts.

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One way to challenge negative thinking is through positive self-talk. Practice reciting positive affirmations such as "I am worthy" or "I am enough." It may feel silly at first, but the more you practice, the more natural it will become.

Another way to build self-esteem is by practicing self-compassion. Practice forgiving yourself for past mistakes and move forward with a positive mindset. Treatment options for low self-esteem include psychotherapy in-person or online, as well as medications if necessary.

1. Get Help Now

If you're struggling with low self-esteem, don't hesitate to get help. There are many resources available to help you regain your confidence and find a positive outlook on life. These include online therapy programs including Talkspace, BetterHelp, and written unbiased reviews that can help you choose the right program for you.

Online therapy programs offer convenience and accessibility. With these programs, you can receive counseling from the comfort of your own home or office. They provide a safe space to explore your feelings and work through your issues. Written unbiased reviews can help you make an informed decision about which program is right for you. Don't let low self-esteem hold you back any longer - get the help you need today!

Self-esteem: Take steps to feel better about yourself

Self-esteem start with loving yourself. It is an essential component of our overall well-being. Unfortunately, many people struggle with low self-esteem, which can negatively impact their relationships, job performance, and mental health. However, the good news is that there are steps based on cognitive behavioral therapy that you can take to feel better about yourself.

Taking cues from your thoughts and behaviors is the first step towards improving your self-esteem. Negative self-talk and beliefs about oneself harm our confidence level. Therefore, it's essential to challenge those thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Also, engaging in activities that bring you joy or accomplishment will help boost your mood.

In some cases, seeking mental health counseling can be helpful in addressing low self-esteem issues. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps individuals identify negative thought patterns and replaces them with positive ones. By learning healthy coping mechanisms and building a strong support system through counseling sessions, individuals can overcome low self-esteem and live fulfilling lives.

1. Recognize situations that affect self-esteem

Self-esteem is how we view ourselves and our worth. It can be influenced by many factors such as life events, school presentations, job loss, and even when a child leaves home. These are all common triggers that can affect self-esteem.

For example, receiving negative feedback on a school presentation may lower your self-esteem in that particular area. On the other hand, feeling loved and appreciated by a spouse or close contact can boost self-esteem. Life events such as job loss or a child leaving home can also have a significant impact on self-esteem as they may cause feelings of inadequacy or loss of purpose. By recognizing these situations, we can start to take steps towards building and maintaining healthy self-esteem.

2. Become aware of thoughts and beliefs

One important aspect of building self-esteem is becoming aware of your thoughts and beliefs. Situations affect us all, but it's how we respond to those situations that can either boost or damage our self-esteem. By paying attention to what you're thinking and feeling in certain situations, you can begin to notice patterns in your thought process.

It's important to distinguish between positive and negative thoughts and beliefs, as well as rational and irrational based ones. Negative and irrational beliefs lead to false ideas about ourselves that can be damaging to our self-esteem. On the other hand, positive and rational beliefs help us build a healthy sense of self-worth. By recognizing these patterns and replacing negative, irrational thoughts with positive, rational ones, we can start to strengthen our self-esteem.

3. Challenge negative thinking

Our initial thoughts and thought patterns can often erode self-esteem, leading us to view ourselves in a negative light. All-or-nothing thinking can lead us to feel like a total failure, while mental filtering causes us to focus on the negatives and ignore the positives.

Converting positives into negatives involves rejecting positive experiences and focusing on negative conclusions. Mistaking feelings for facts can also confuse our thinking, leading to negative self-talk that only reinforces our low self-esteem. By challenging these negative thought patterns and replacing them with more positive ones, we can begin to improve our sense of self-worth and start living a happier, more fulfilling life.

4. Adjust your thoughts and beliefs

Adjusting your thoughts and beliefs is an essential step towards building healthy self-esteem. It means that you replace negative, untrue thoughts with positive and accurate ones. Instead of telling yourself that you are a bad person because you made a mistake or had a negative experience, reframe the situation by focusing on the positive outcome or the lessons learned. Relabel upsetting thoughts as just thoughts, not permanent reflections of who you are.

Through commitment therapy, you can take steps based on making positive and hopeful statements about yourself. By doing this, you create healthier patterns of thinking and remain engaged with your own self-improvement. Even when colleagues asked questions that might trigger negative thoughts, it is always good to have a healthier view of things to avoid unnecessary stress in life. So start adjusting your thoughts and beliefs today and see how it can positively impact your life!

5. Spot troubling conditions or situations

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Spotting troubling conditions or situations related to self-esteem is crucial for maintaining a healthy sense of self-worth. Pay attention to negative self-talk, such as constantly criticizing yourself or putting yourself down. Comparing yourself to others can also be damaging to your self-esteem, especially in the age of social media where it's easy to compare your life to others' carefully curated highlight reels. Perfectionism can also lead to low self-esteem, as it creates unrealistic expectations that are impossible to meet.

If you notice any of these negative patterns in your thinking or behavior, it's important to take action before they lead to more serious mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Seek support from trusted friends or family members, consider speaking with a therapist, and practice positive affirmations and self-care activities that help boost your confidence and sense of worth. Remember that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and there is no one "right" way to live your life - embrace your uniqueness and celebrate your accomplishments!

Frequently Asked Questions

What activities improve self esteem?

Activities such as exercise, practicing self-care, setting achievable goals, and engaging in hobbies can improve self esteem.

How can you bring someones self esteem up?

You can bring someone's self-esteem up by offering genuine compliments, showing appreciation for their efforts and accomplishments, and being supportive during difficult times.

What are some tips for building self esteem?

Some tips for building self-esteem include practicing self-care, setting realistic goals, challenging negative thoughts, and surrounding yourself with supportive people.

How can I get good self esteem?

To improve your self-esteem, focus on building a positive relationship with yourself. Practice self-care, challenge negative thoughts, set achievable goals, and surround yourself with supportive people. Remember that self-esteem takes time to build and requires consistent effort.

Bobby van Houten

Bobby van Houten

Writer at English Quest

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Bobby van Houten is a seasoned blogger with over 10 years of experience in the industry. He has a passion for writing about technology and its impact on society, as well as reviewing new gadgets and software. In addition to his blogging work, Bobby is also an avid traveler and has visited over 20 countries around the world.

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